Here we go again
by BlueMoonOnTheRise
Summary: Rose has a talk with the new Doctor. Our Doctor finds himself on Bad Wolf Bay again; but is it third time lucky, or just Time punishing him for what he has done. HUGE EARTH SHATTERING SPOILERS FOR JOURNEY'S END!
1. Talking

Rose looked at the new Doctor

**Hi guys!! -grins- :D Sorry I haven't posted anything for soooooo long! I will update other stories soon. Promise. I just got this idea in my head, and have to write it before it goes out of date. It'll make sense…**

**SPOILERS FOR JOURNEYS END**

**Off we go then… "****Alonsy****, Alonso!"**

Rose looked at the new Doctor. He wasn't smiling; he was looking at her, his face serious, as though waiting for her approval of something.

"Yeh," she said, to break the silence. She swallowed. "Shall we go then?"

He nodded slowly, and they turned to face Jackie, hands still clasped. A battle was raging in Rose's head, blotting out coherent thought. She wanted to be alone, to think things through. Had she made the right decision? A moments thought told her she hadn't decided anything. The Doctor – the one now somewhere in another universe had made it for her long before they got to Bad Wolf Bay.

"Rose? Rose!"

A voice was calling her name, and she had a feeling it might be him. She was dimly aware that somewhere between then and now, he had dropped her hand; or had she dropped his?; and now he had taken it again, and they were walking up the beach. Rose shook her head slightly to clear it, and allowed herself to be pulled along in his wake.

The zeppelin ride home was an awkward one, made more so by the length. There was a lot of explaining to do, and Rose kept getting the Doctor's muddled. Pete was questioning her, Jackie was fussing over her, the new Doctor was trying to talk to her about something, and all Rose wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry, but no one seemed to have noticed.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Rose." A voice permeated her dark room, and she jumped horribly, her head clonking on the head of the bed as she sat bolt upright. This was too like the first time she had lost him. Rose peered wildly into the darkness, looking for the source of his voice.

Her bedroom light flicked on, and she blinked rapidly trying to adjust her eyes to the light. The new Doctor was standing just inside her door, his slim frame leaned against the wardrobe. She smiled at him.

"Wotcha." she said, hiding her slight disappointment.

"Hello." he grinned, sitting down on the foot of her bed. "I figured, after earlier, you wanted to talk about – stuff."

"Earlier?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "What happened…?"

"Well, whilst everyone else had their eyes shut, I actually noticed that you were about to break down and cry…but maybe it wasn't the best time to point it out in front of your parents and Tony?"

She smiled again, a lump in her throat. She suddenly realised why the Doctor talked all the time, but never said anything. This conversation was going to make her feel so so guilty.

"I…I miss him…" she managed to get out, squeezing her lids together. This made her sound so ungrateful.

"And guilty, I guess?" he prompted, shuffling next to her, and draping an arm around her shoulder. She clung to him, nodding. "I would." he told her, stroking her hair gently, holding her to him "I mean with the whole kissing me in front of him thing…"

"Yeah, but," she started giggling through her tears "It _was _nice!"

"Which makes it worse…"

"And I do love you 'cause, well, you're the same and…"

"Rose." he said gently. "Listen to me. If he came back to this universe, you'd go with him, yes?"

"What kinda question's that?" she protested, her eyes moist as she glared resentfully at him. "That's like saying, who would you like to watch me kill, your mum or your brother!"

"Really Rose, I need to know."

"He won't come back."

"Yes, but if…"

"Doctor, he won't! He will stay in the other universe, because he's got some cracked up idea that he's not good enough for me, or that I can be happier here. He doesn't get it! All I ever wanted was to stay with him! Who came back when he sent me away from the gamestation? Who manipulated Torchwood to _save the parallel universe _so that she might have just a tiny, tiny chance of seeing him again? I love 'im, but I hate him for always sending me away when he most needs someone!"

"I know, I know," the Doctor said, rocking her back and forth, like a baby "He only cares."

She buried her face in his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him, silent tears soaking into his shirt as she held him for support, he was the only person who understood.

"He's alone again," the new Doctor told her tentatively, after a while. "Donna's gone."

"What! No!" Rose sat up straight so fast she banged her head on the bed again "Why? What's wrong with her? Donna was brilliant! She helped him, she wasn't jealous, she was…"

"Her memories have gone." he said "There was never supposed to be a timelord-human metacrisis, and if her memories remained, she would have died. If she remembers anything about me, she'll burn up."

A tear fell down Rose's face. Suddenly, where she was didn't seem so bad. She still had her memories.

**:P review if you love me! Which you all do **_**don't you**_** -evil laugh-**


	2. Just you and me

**Short one here folks! Big angsty and all that, but then, this is the Doctor(!!). Next chapter will be longer, and I promise stuff will start happening…not just everyone crying **_**oh isn't sad **_**yadayada etc etc**

The Doctor stood in his TARDIS, looking sadly up at the console, rain still soaking into his shirt. Just an hour ago, the place had been bubbling over with laughter and happiness. The cheers as they towed the earth back home still rang in his ears, he felt shadows of arms pulling him into hugs of joy: Donna gripping him so hard he felt his head would come off, Martha's quick hug and joyful smile, and Rose laughing into his shoulder as he pulled her into a hug. The biggest family on Earth. Well. Not any more.

_Just you and me again, old girl_

His ship clanked briefly, shifting in the vortex, and hummed empathetically. She could feel his guilt at taking Donna's memories from her, how she would never know what she could be, what she _was_. She might not do what she had done with him, but he hoped more than anything that she'd be happy. Wilf would see to that. Something stung even worse though, an old wound ripped wide open then slashed at, again, and again. The Doctor slumped into a chair, his mind on Rose. Why hadn't he just told her? He knew she had only stayed with the new Doctor because he could give her what she needed more than anything: he could tell her how he felt, he wasn't afraid. He could love her, marry her, grow old with her. Much as it stung, the Doctor was still adamant he had made the right decision. Those were the very reasons he had never told her how he felt, in the hope she might find someone else she could be happy with. Who better than the human him? She could have a proper life, without death at every corner, without the man who damaged peoples lives, who tore things apart…

She could have the happy ending she deserved.

Smiling faintly at this small comfort, the Doctor shrugged off his jacket, shaking his head like a wet puppy, sending droplets of water glistening onto the console, making it hiss and steam. His eyes roamed the TARDIS for something, anything to occupy his grief and guilt ridden mind. The walls, glimmering faintly, had never seemed emptier. The Doctor lay back, eyes closed, trying to blot out everything. But his head swum with Donna's laughter, Rose's smiles that lit up the room, Rose pressed against him as she hugged him close.

The TARDIS gave a huge lurch. The console sputtered, spraying the room with sparks. The lights went out. The Doctor's head slammed into the monitor.

And everything went black.

**Reviews make me happy! And The Review Button has a name! Henry! And he's verrrrrrrrrry lonely :P**


	3. Blunt and Sharp

**Ok, so I said I'd do a long one, so here it is! Not **_**that**_** long, but longer than the last one. And stuff is starting to happen, people aren't just moping around. Everyone together now… "YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!" Wow. Looks like you're all pleased. Made my day, that did! :P lolz! Lis et enjoy. (my French is horrendous, I know)**

"So I'll take that as a yes." The new Doctor grinned, offering Rose both his hands to pull her up off the bed. "And because I am even more fantastically brilliant than my timelord counterpart, I have this little tiny sneaking suspicion that I can get you back easy peasy, home in time for tea…" he beamed at her "Wha'd'ya say?"

Rose shook her head, looking around the room for inspiration.

"But…what about you?"

"Me?" another huge grin "I'm always alright."

Rose looked utterly unconvinced. The Doctor sighed. He cupped her face in his hands, bringing her to face him, and looking into her eyes. "Rose. I…well _he _lied. I'm not exactly the same. One of the first things I said to Donna was: _never bin' anyone like me. I'm unique. _It's true. I'm like him in the respect that I have the same memories, and even the same feelings, but my individuality…blunts them."

"Are you saying…" Rose began, a ghost of a smile playing around her lips.

"Oh yes," he took her hand, leading her gently down the moonlit corridor "I love you to pieces, but he…" the new Doctor stopped. Best let him tell her himself. Rose stopped abruptly, and in the dim light he could see her delicate features still etched with concern.

"Doctor." Her voice was thick again, as if she were close to crying. "You haven't answered me. what about _you_?"

"I don't matter here," he told her firmly "What I want is for you to be happy, and if I know you are then I wil be too." He grinned "Besides, there's a hell of a lot of good I could do here. Torchwood doesn't know anything about aliens. They call themselves experts yet can't manage to spell _Raxacoricofallapatorius_…disgraceful. This universe has just bin' waiting for me!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

The Doctor scrambled upright, rubbing the egg shaped lump between his eyes, which was throbbing painfully. It took a great deal of his willpower not to throw up with the pain, but he dragged himself into a crouched position in front of the scanner, It was black and cracked. Fantastic. His eyes roved the rest of the room, and everything seemed to be working. The console glowed green, the walls stood stately and golden; nothing was amiss at all. So why the lurch? The only possible explanation was that she had taken him somewhere. He turned to Rose, to complain about ships having no respect to their owners when he remembered she wasn't there. He sighed. He really couldn't be bothered to go outside. On his own.

He would have been quite happy to stay slumped in the pilot's chair forever, but some inexplicable force brought him to his feet. White converses squeaked slightly against the shiny floor as he walked purposely along a corridor. His hand skimmed a slightly bumpy wall, like varnished wood, but glowing ever so faintly in golds and greens. Doors were not, like human doors, straight and rectangular, but in all sorts of intricate shapes, and all with symbols and letters moving over them in bright gold – Gallifreyan writing. The corridor twisted again, and the Doctor gave a sad smile. This was his beloved TARDIS, his ship, his life. He had always loved humans, taken them on board as friends, looked out for them…but now. How was it that he had all of time and space, and his ship, but he just couldn't live? All he really wanted was one little human girl, impossibly far away. It was then that he realised where his feet were taking him, and he came to an abrupt halt outside a particular door. It was oval shaped, but with swirls and roses blossoming around the edges, and the ever changing writing swirling in and out of sight, caressing the surface. He reached out a hand, and turned the handle. The room was almost exactly the same as Rose had left it two years previously. He had come in here many times, but she had never known. He would stand in the doorway at night, and just watch her sleep. Once or twice, he had got brave, laying down beside her, cradling her to his chest, smiling as she cuddled closer in her sleep. When it begun to get light, he would disentangle himself from her, and go tinker with the TARDIS until she woke. A few times, shortly after she had gone, or that time he and Donna had accidentally gate crashed a wedding; and a part of him just wished it was him and Rose standing there; he would sneak into her room, and lie on her bed, just to feel closer to her. That was what he did now, flinging himself on the covers, and closing his eyes. If he used his imagination, he could pretend she was lying next to him.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Rose looked at the new Doctor and her mum, half smiling, half crying. She was going back to the real Doctor, _her_ Doctor.

"Thankyou so much!" she blurted out, grabbing the pair of them in a hug, trying to compose herself. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement, she wore the world's biggest smile, but tears were pouring down her cheeks. Over the past twelve hours she had done so much crying it was completely ridiculous. Wordlessly, Jackie handed her daughter the device. Rose took it, and with one trembling hand, pressed the yellow button. Jackie and the Doctor heard a faint "_I love you_"on the air as she vanished.

**Like? Not like? Think I've finally lost it? One way to tell me….**


	4. Best Friends

**Here we go! Another chapter [at last]!! I am so so so so sorry this has taken so long, because one of the things I HATE on fanfiction is stupid authors who leave a cliffhanger hanging for months on end. No offence if you are one of said stupid authors. Me too. We should totally make an annoying author club. Anyhow, back to the point… basically I have had loads on [mainly schoolwork] and I really haven't had time to do any of this. But I loveeee this story, so I'm doing another chapter. Because if no one reads it, it will still make me happy. [Warning: shameless fluff! Proceed at your own risk.]**

For a few moments, all there was was the blur of colour, wind whipping back her hair, stinging her eyes until moisture streaked across her face. Or maybe she was crying again. It was hard to rationalise in this spinning non-reality. A moment of pain as she crossed into the next universe. Complete sensory deprivation; then pain, as the ground smashed into her feet.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The TARDIS jolted very slightly. Not enough for humans to register, but the Doctor felt his ship react ever so slightly, almost as if someone had jumped inside her. Not likely. He was hardly in the jumping kind of mood, and there was no one else on board. Assuming that the fridge had burst open _again_ spilling jars of marmalade all over the floor, he got up to clear it up, wanting something to take his mind off the pain. He wasn't one to dwell in his own misery, and he really needed something to _do_. At the same time, clearing up marmalade wasn't really very proactive, and he couldn't bring himself to go travelling without his lost friends.

The Doctor loped into the kitchen, but nothing was out of place there. Still, the thought of marmalade cheered him up a tiny bit, and he was hungry… Five minutes later, having toasted a few slices of bread and dolloped a large amount of marmalade on them, he almost felt normal. He took a huge bite, and, grabbing a plate, walked slowly towards the control room.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Wincing, Rose straightened up. Useful they may be, but the reality hoppers were never the nicest things to use. Still, if it meant she could be with the Doctor, she'd take the pain a million times over. Suddenly, faced with the situation she had dreamed about for years, the thing she had worked and worked to get, only to get sent back home, the thing she had abandoned her whole family for the third time to have, Rose felt a stab of trepidation. Did he really want her? He had sent her away so many times…did that mean he cared about her, or that he wanted her out of the way? For the zillionth time that day, Rose felt tears prick in her eyes. What was with this crying? She normally had a bit more grit. She ground her teeth together; bit her lip, refusing to cry. He wouldn't make her cry, no matter what.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Munching on his third slice of toast, the Doctor poked his head into the control room.

Hearing footsteps coming towards her, Rose stiffened, clutching her device almost defensively.

He couldn't see any immediate danger, so walked over to the scanner to check what had jolted the TARDIS.

She wanted to run to him so much, but she suddenly couldn't move.

His mouth fell open, and he staggered backwards, staring blindly around the room, eyes shining with…tears? It was at that moment that Rose remembered how to use her muscles, and moved tentatively around the console to look at him. He stared back, unable to keep the tears from streaming down his face, unable to express what it meant to him that she had come back.

The stood there for a while, just staring at each other, neither quite sure what to do. It was Rose who finally closed the gap between them, reaching out and wrapping her arms around him. He responded, squeezing her tight to him chest, murmuring into her hair, hot tears falling thick and fast as he rocked them gently. Neither spoke. They didn't need to.

Sometime later, when they had both composed themselves a little, the Doctor relinquished his grip on Rose unwillingly, and stepped back to look at her.

"Why did you…?"

"You needed me. But more than that, I guess, I really really needed you. More than anything."

Words failed him again, and he just hugged her tighter. He couldn't put how he felt into words, but something told him that she really needed him to. She needed to know how much more than a 'plus one' she was, how he had adored her from day one, and how every time she went away she took most of him with her.

"Rose I…" he stopped. It wasn't enough. "I want you to know what I probably should have said a long time ago. I… you are the most amazing person I have ever met, and I only keep sending you away because of my own cowardice. I can't face how much I need you, and the fact that I have been in love with you since you first stepped into the TARDIS. I sent you away again to save us both pain, and I nearly lost you completely. Nothing is worth that and I'm sorry." He looked down gently at Rose "Am I forgiven?"

She couldn't answer, just smiled up at him, the happiest smile she had worn for a long time. He beamed back, then, ever so slowly dipped his head towards hers, his soft brown eyes locked on hers. His lips met hers, pressing tenderly against them. For a few moments there was no sound at all, but their lips moving in synchronisation. When they drew apart, the Doctor reached instinctively for her hand, which fitted perfectly in his.

And that's where we leave them - travelling around the universe hand in hand, saving the world. Best friends. Completely and utterly inseparable.

**I'm sorry, that was a HUGE amount of fluff!! Lol! I hope you like it as much as me, I actually nearly made myself cry! Just so you know, the Doctor didn't forget Donna. It wasn't appropriate to put it in this story, but he hasn't skipped off into the sunset without a second thought. They both miss Donna (who, lets face it, was awesome) and maybe someday will try to help her. Anyhooo…review, review!! ;D**

**Note: I nicked a quote from Stephenie Meyer!!! "**_**their lips moving in synchronisation" **_**can't take credit for that one! Belongs to SM (: **


End file.
